Out of my shell part 1.

I though I'd type on something that I'm sure many can relate to or may not but it was my experience and the way I express this may be different then what another person may say regarding it. I don't know how to say it, but growing up as a child I was rather shy and to be honest w/ you it wasn't until I got to middle school that I really begin to come out of my shell.

Elementary years, I was very self conscious and it seemed that the further I got into my elementary years to more self conscious I was. I don't know if it was because I was taught to surpress my emotions or when I did express myself I often looked like an idiot. Sometimes the expressions were not even legit but I guess it was to assert myself as an individual, even looking back some of those moments I cringe. I cringe at my outbursts and I cringe at how self conscious I was in other areas, like I hardly participated in PE at school and in music I was basically absent (probably b/c I hate the sound of my own voice). I was always worried about being laughed at. Recess was fun but that was about it. My fifth grade year sucked. One, I didn't care for the school I had to go to for that last year when we moved to the south end of town. Two, I missed my old friends and the ones who I knew. That year, I reunited w/ some of my classmates from preschool. OTOH I felt like I was the token black guy in my class when I came from a school that was almost all black. Summer could not get her fast enough. Not to mention I barely passed that year.

I remember my orientation for my middle school and how shy I was when mom was trying to introduce me to a really cute girl who could have been my potential classmate, now me and this girl are still friends however we don't see each other as often and unfortunately even when I got to my middle school we never had any classes together. Moving on..............Sixth grade, I was a loner for what thought would be the next three years of my life. To be honest, it appeared that I did not have any friends or any one to confide in, then suddenly it happened. It started w/ a guy around my age that I befriended in my P.E. class. Seeing that P.E. was the last class I took during the day, it gave us more time to get acquainted then say a social studies class would. It started off w/ small talk walking the football field while the other guys were playing soccer and then it got to getting involved in the four square games that the mute button on my mouth (or the tape on my mouth) was gradually released. I gradually got to forcing myself into the in crowd until I was known my most of my sixth grade class. It was as if I went from geek to sheek, except I never felt so much like a geek but I was sort of an outsider. I certainly wasn't sheek because I never managed to score a date. I was invited to many parties, though I hardly went to any of them. I went to 3 my eighth grade year and one of them was an end of the year party and even at that I was usually picked up before they ended.

Part two to follow